"What a bitch of a mind" - World meets mind.

"Who am I?"
Ambivalent.

"Why is that?"
Because, indecisive piece of shit.

Why can't you make a choice?
Times running out.
Why did they say what they did?
Why is it fearful?
Is it just me?
WHAT THE FUCK?
Do I believe in the universe?
In God? In religion?
In myself ?

I don't belong to this time.
I SHOULD BEHAVE LIKE THIS.
WHY SHOULD I BE ANYTHING BUT MYSELF?
But they have their shit together.
I love love.
BE RATIONAL.
ITS TOO CHEESY.
I should stop justifying myself.
Maybe I swear too much.
Maybe they don't really care that much.
DO I EVEN CARE?
Maybe I care too much?
MAYBE I SHOW TOO LITTLE?
How is the world so sick?
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WORLD.
How can a song be this sad?
'Dead Poets Society' is everything.
Why cant it(the universe) hear me?
DID YOU SEE THAT?!
Nothing is exciting enough.
Do I try harder?
Do I stop?
I have the best people.
How can people be such jerks?
Maybe I shouldn't be this sad.
Maybe I should believe in myself.

I WILL LIVE LIKE THIS.
DO IT.
DON'T DO IT.
BE THIS.
DON'T BE THIS.
WHY DOES IT HURT?
WHAT DID I REMEMBER TO FORGET?
What?! "

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

( Nods head as if to cancel the thought away. Does this over and over and over and over.)

-Gretchen Barretto

Comments

The Problem with ' Whatever'

"So, Stairway to Heaven or Sweet home Alabama? " WHATEVER man. Play whatever. " Hey babe, do you think I should paint my nails purple or black? " WHATEVER baby. You'll look great either way. " Giselle! Would you like fish fingers or chicken pot roast? " WHATEVER will do. "... I slog all day and I don't even recieve a 'Hi mum, you're home' " WHATEVER, MUM. " You know man, you've been acting like a real dick lately" WHATEVER. I think it matters have an opinion. I think it matters to give a definite or an unsure answer to someone's question, instead of a carelessly vague 'Whatever'. When she asks you about what colour looks better, tell her what you think. If you hate both the options, tell her that too. If you think the purple reminds you of the time you first went second base on her, tell her that. She'll wear purple baby. If your mum asks you about food, tell her. S...

On Love

Love is a hug lasting for 20 seconds extra. Love is having a crappy day and coming to an old friend selling you SHEV puri. One that makes all your worries go away. Love is your dad sending you messages that start with 'Check your common sense'. Love is friends giving you proxies after calling you a bitch. Love is when your mother teams up with you so you can pick on your jackass sibling. Love is the jackass sibling doing your chores(while on a rant). Love is a a dog. Love is a kiss that's given immediately after you declare that you hated the previous one. Love is gossiping with your grandmother over a packet of Lays. Love is 'A walk to Remember'. Love is when she tells her, that she loves her better than any guy ever could. Love is when you turn down the lights and put on your head phones. When you love yourself. Love is when he tells you that it's okay if you move on. That even that won't ch...

Dear Future

1.Give me confidence to be able to attempt a summersault on the beach. 2. Promise me that my country will learn through its mistakes and be the marvel of a nation that it can be , so people don't want to leave it anymore. 3.Grant me enough patience to be able to do Yoga. 4. Assure me that my self worth was worth the battles that I fought with myself, when self doubt did its rounds. 5. Determine me to not only attempt cooking, but to conjure up that one trademark dish that all the kids in the family will tell their friends about. 6. Reflect in a deja vu, why my decision to not give up is what made me smile today. 8. Be prepared to see my kickass driving skills. 9. Be prepared to see love in the eyes of strangers that become family, in the memories framed on the wall. 10. When they point to the pictures, you make sure that they tell them my name. #name

Confessions of a sane mind , interrupted.

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