"What a bitch of a mind" - World meets mind.

"Who am I?"
Ambivalent.

"Why is that?"
Because, indecisive piece of shit.

Why can't you make a choice?
Times running out.
Why did they say what they did?
Why is it fearful?
Is it just me?
WHAT THE FUCK?
Do I believe in the universe?
In God? In religion?
In myself ?

I don't belong to this time.
I SHOULD BEHAVE LIKE THIS.
WHY SHOULD I BE ANYTHING BUT MYSELF?
But they have their shit together.
I love love.
BE RATIONAL.
ITS TOO CHEESY.
I should stop justifying myself.
Maybe I swear too much.
Maybe they don't really care that much.
DO I EVEN CARE?
Maybe I care too much?
MAYBE I SHOW TOO LITTLE?
How is the world so sick?
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WORLD.
How can a song be this sad?
'Dead Poets Society' is everything.
Why cant it(the universe) hear me?
DID YOU SEE THAT?!
Nothing is exciting enough.
Do I try harder?
Do I stop?
I have the best people.
How can people be such jerks?
Maybe I shouldn't be this sad.
Maybe I should believe in myself.

I WILL LIVE LIKE THIS.
DO IT.
DON'T DO IT.
BE THIS.
DON'T BE THIS.
WHY DOES IT HURT?
WHAT DID I REMEMBER TO FORGET?
What?! "

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

( Nods head as if to cancel the thought away. Does this over and over and over and over.)

-Gretchen Barretto

Comments

Why I Sing

"When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, 'What will I be?' What will I be? What will I be? At 6, right after singing 'Country Roads' on stage, I told my dad that I wanted to be a singer. He hugged me. 8 years later, after numerous shuffles from wanting to be a teacher, a painter, a stamp collector, a librarian, an author, a sharp looking business woman, I told him again, " Dada, I want to be a singer" He didn't hug me this time. At 14, I was a chubby teenager who had no friends. But I had a stereo, and it played Avril Lavigne's ' 2007 album, 'Best Damn Thing', over and over, until I could sing every note and rap every word. At 15, I agreed with mum and concluded that a singing career is frivolous and risky. So I decided to ace tests ( and I did). But secretly I would spend roughly all day singing. Mostly Shania Twain and Taylor Swift. Yes, I had a Taylor Swift phase. And no, I'm not that good. I'm okay...

WE WILL : A poetic rendition on equality among races, genders and sexual orientations.

When they tell you to run like a girl, how will you run? When they tell you that homosexuality is unnatural, what will you do? When they judge you by the skin of your ancestors, what will you say? In order to answer these questions, let’s correct the question. How will WE run? What will WE say? What will WE do? A mother gets a maternity leave when a child is born. But what about the equally responsible father, Who tends to his crying child and starts his day at dawn? A father too wants to spend time with his child, He too changes her diapers and spends every second to make her smile. What about the fact that it’s okay for my brother to stay out late? And me doing the same is unacceptable, because mama yells ‘Foolish child! Out in the dark, terrible men wait!’ What about the fact that when we study sex education, Our education only makes us aware about heterosexual sex? Speaking of education, my fifth grade teacher once tol...

The Problem with ' Whatever'

"So, Stairway to Heaven or Sweet home Alabama? " WHATEVER man. Play whatever. " Hey babe, do you think I should paint my nails purple or black? " WHATEVER baby. You'll look great either way. " Giselle! Would you like fish fingers or chicken pot roast? " WHATEVER will do. "... I slog all day and I don't even recieve a 'Hi mum, you're home' " WHATEVER, MUM. " You know man, you've been acting like a real dick lately" WHATEVER. I think it matters have an opinion. I think it matters to give a definite or an unsure answer to someone's question, instead of a carelessly vague 'Whatever'. When she asks you about what colour looks better, tell her what you think. If you hate both the options, tell her that too. If you think the purple reminds you of the time you first went second base on her, tell her that. She'll wear purple baby. If your mum asks you about food, tell her. S...

Confessions of a sane mind , interrupted.

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